This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
