What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
