My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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