Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
