UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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