I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
