I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
