You work out of a Hotel?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
3pm strippers are depressing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
