i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
