we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
