I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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