Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have aggressive nipples.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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