We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
