I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
