im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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