eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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