I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
operation have a gay friend backfired
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
