We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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