Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
