there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
