Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
