I need help removing her.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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