so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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