Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
