3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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