Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize