You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm really busy with my period
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