yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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