ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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