elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
