My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
