exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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