Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
operation harelip BJ is a go
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
