this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
