did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
