I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
