we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize