Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He kissed a someone with a penis
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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