Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
