I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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