Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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