I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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