She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
