After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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