Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
babies were throwing up all over the place
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
