we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was born a porn star she said
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
