Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
