i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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