I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
