i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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