...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
