dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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