I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
do nipples grow back?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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