Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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