he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
