This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
