I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
