i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
