Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
