How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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