im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
