Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
